Exploring the Factors in an Open Adoption Relationship
More and more, birthparents and adopting families are choosing open adoption. This is the type of adoption allows all the members of the adoption triad the chance to build and strengthen a relationship. Sometimes the relationship involves more than just letters and photos, and entails regular visits with the family.
This type of communication can provide the child with a deeper sense of identity. The questions such as, “Who do I look like the most? Why was I placed for adoption? Where do I get my musical talent or my abilities in sports?” can be more readily answered. The child does not need to fantasize or wonder about his birth family nor feel the need to search for his roots. Parents can also have more than the basic medical history, something that can be potentially vital to the child’s future health. The child can also have a wider family circle, which can encompass not just the birthparents, but also biological grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
However, open adoption does have its own set of challenges that will require the cooperation of the birthparents and the parents. They may also turn to A Act of Love Adoptions for additional training and counseling, especially during the first few months after the placement has been made.
Here are some issues that may need to be threshed out in an open adoption relationship:
Expectations. It can be helpful to discuss the open adoption relationship and your expectations with regards to how it will work for both the birthparents and the parents. Clarify the roles each will have and when the visits will be (i.e. what occasions – Christmas or the day before Christmas, birthdays, etc.). To respect boundaries for both the parents and birthparents, you can agree to call before a visit.
Relating to one another. Some basic issues that the parents and birthparents should discuss will be how they relate to each other, especially during the visits. This can include how they will celebrate holidays, what the child should call the birthparents and how involved the birthparents and the biological family (birth grandparents, uncles, aunts or cousins) will be.
Respect of roles. It must be clear from the onset that it is the parents who will take an active role in parenting – this includes making decisions for the child and disciplining the child. Birthparents need to respect this distinction between their roles.
Openness to change and to communicate. Even with expectations set at the start of the placement as facilitated by A Act of Love, it is also important to recognize that the details of the relationship can change over the years. The birthparents may desire to move on and start their own families and limit the visits or stop them altogether. The family or the birthparents may move or transfer jobs. During these changes, as well as when issues crop up, it is important that parents and birthparents are willing to work towards positive change. This can work with open communication – so that both are aware of what the other is going through emotionally.
Ensuring the child’s safety. It is imperative that the child’s physical and emotional safety be the first priority. The child’s safety is paramount and it is important to plan ahead to ensure the child is safe.
More than one set of birthparents. If the parents have adopted two or more children from different birthparents, this can mean relating to these birthparents, if they all opt for an open adoption relationship. It is important to recognize that the relationships with the different birthparents may differ. The parents need to manage the effect this difference may have on the children. One child may feel deprived if his birthparents do not get as involved with the family as the other birthparents. One important step is to help the children recognize that the experiences will be different.
Contact Act of Love today to learn more about open adoptions. Call 24/7 at 800-835-6360 or text to 801-450-0094. During office hours the AOL staff can be reached at 801-572-1696. Private appointments can be scheduled, along with a monthly adoption orientation the first Tuesday of each month. Personal references available and testimonials at www.aactofloveadoptions.com.
Adoption: Commitment on Both Sides
I recently talked to a dear friend of mine who expressed her feelings on adoption. She and her husband have been considering adoption for many years now. Something she said struck a chord with me. She fears that the birth parents will change their minds about placing their child for adoption, resulting in a loss of a baby that she had hoped to love and cherish as her own.
Prospective adoptive parents go through a lot during the adoption process. They are examined, investigated, and every aspect of their lives is scrutinized. The matching process is challenging for adoptive parents, and once a match is established, an instant bond forms between adoptive and birth parents.
There is stress on both sides. Both families have to proceed with the adoption process in faith. Birth parents can choose to change their minds about their adoption plan; they can choose not to place or simply not to place with the family they originally chose. Adoptive parents can also decide not to go through with an adoption.
While birth parents have to go through the emotional trauma of losing a child through adoption, adoptive parents have to accept the fact that even though they are matched, the birth parents can still change their minds about placing with them.
One of the most important questions I had for Matt’s parents was how committed they were to keeping a semi-open adoption. I needed to know that I would receive updates throughout Matt’s life. In most places, adoptive and birth families make a good faith agreement on the level of openness of the adoption. Adoptive parents are not legally bound to maintain an open adoption or semi-open adoption. *You will need to discuss this with the adoption agency you choose, as this varies from state to state.*
Act of Love Adoption Agency works with the prospective adoptive parents closely, and if you are looking for an open or semi-open adoption, they will show you profiles of those families who genuinely desire the same thing. They are great at matching birth parents to adoptive parents. This is one reason why they are successful in facilitating successful adoptions.
Call Act of Love today to speak with an adoption professional about open and closed adoptions. Act of Love has been working with birth parents and adopting families for over twenty years and is a leader in providing first-rate services and adoption consultation. Birth Parents can reach Act of Love 24/7 at 800-835-6360 or by text at 801-450-0094. You can talk with Skylar about her adoption experience by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org. Private appointments can be scheduled, along with a monthly Adoptive Family Orientation the first Tuesday of each month. Adoptive families can call 888-767-7740 or 801-572-1696. Personal references available and testimonials at www.aactofloveadoptions.com.
Team AOL Provides Adoption Services
Act of Love Adoption Agency has been well-known for working with families without regard to race, age, religion, single or married to complete open and closed adoptions. Act of Love is a full-service adoption agency and provides domestic adoption services to adoptive families and birth parents throughout the U.S. It is the belief of the agency that one-on-one personal care and meeting the needs of each client is paramount to those choosing the adoption journey. AOL has been a leader in the adoption field with providing best practice services and helping clients to create the adoption plan that best meets their needs. Having assisted 1000’s of children, birth mothers, birth fathers and adopting families the experienced staff is able to provide services from beginning to end and help build healthy relationships between the adoption triad for years to come. If you are needing full-services or individual services to complete a private adoption Act of Love Adoption Agency is ready to provide the one-on-one attention needed to complete a successful adoption plan. A free Adoption Orientation is offered the first Tuesday of every month at the Act of Love offices in Sandy, Utah at 7:00 p.m.
“Dear Kathy, About 2 ½ years ago, I attended an orientation at A Act of Love. You happened to be there that night and we were able to talk. I am single and was looking to adopt. You were very kind and excited for me. I was so scared because I am single and felt that everyone would be judging me. I was signed up to be a foster parent but had not had any placements and I was so discourage. At that time, you told me there was a child for me but you didn’t know if it would come through your agency. I’m happy to announce that a beautiful girl, aged 4 was placed in my home a few months later. I was able to adopt her when she was 5. I will be eternally grateful to you for your kindness. As a single woman looking to adopt, I couldn’t have felt more loved and accepted by your agency. You were right my daughter didn’t come through your agency but I will forever be grateful for your kindness. “ Thank you, N.B.
Private Adoption Home Studies for $700
Why use Act of Love Adoption Agency?
- Personal one-on-one care and attention
- Act of Love has worked with 1000’s of birth parents and adoptive families
- Completed over 1000 successful adoptions
- Over 35 years of hands-on adoption experience
- Experienced professional staff with over 100 years of combined experience
- Seasoned in handling complex adoption issues
- Experts in the adoption field with building relationships and open adoptions
- Works extra hours, weekends and holidays to complete adoption work
- Available 24/7 to help with adoption guidance
- Staff has personal adoption experience
- Provides full-service adoption to both birth parents and adoptive families
- Understands how to complete the entire adoption
- Licensed by the State of Utah to complete all adoption services
- Offers full and individual adoption services; including home studies, post-placement services
- Able to provide relinquishment services in a comfortable, professional environment
Call today to speak with an adoption professional about your adoption needs. Act of Love can be reached 24/7 at 800-835-6360 or by text at 801-450-0094. During office hours you can call 801-572-1696. Private appointments can be scheduled, along with a monthly adoption orientation the first Tuesday of each month. Personal references available and testimonials at www.aactofloveadoptions.com.
Act of Love looks forward to serving your adoption needs. Call today to learn more about adoption and the services that can make your adoption experience the best and provide you with a peace of mind that all of the adoption details are being handled by a caring, experience adoption professional.
A Act of Love is a Place of Compassion
The attacks on women, children, healthcare, and general lifestyles are unhelpful for those who are facing an unexpected pregnancy and are not sure what they should do. If you are facing an unexpected pregnancy and considering adoption, or perhaps you simply do not know what to do, I can assure you that Act of Love is a place you can turn to for information on adoption and feel safe and loved.
For me, facing an unexpected pregnancy was devastating. The situation I was in was not a good one, and being pregnant under those particular circumstances truly broke my heart. When I decided to have an abortion, I knew it would be a secret I would keep to myself because I would be ostracized if anyone knew.
By divine providence, I got in contact with the staff at AOL, and I felt genuine warmth and compassion radiating through the phone. Because of their kindness, I felt good about considering adoption. I somehow felt at peace talking to the counselor and birth mom coordinator. They were so kind and patient. I knew just from talking to them on the phone that they were wonderful people who love their calling helping birth parents and prospective adoptive parents bring families together through the gift of adoption. I felt safe opening up to them about my situation and trusted that they were willing to support and comfort me should I choose to place my son for adoption.
I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have met them. When I walked into their office, I never felt as though they were judging me or labeling me for being an unwed mother. They were just as kind, warm, and understanding in person as they were on the phone.
Whatever circumstances you are facing in an unexpected pregnancy, whether you are married or unwed, in high school or well into your career, the staff at AOL will help you understand adoption so that you can choose if that is what is right for you and your baby. You will have an incredible support system throughout your adoption journey if you decide to place your child for adoption.
The Littlest Feet Make the Biggest Impression
Act of Love is partnering with the SLC Pregnancy Resource Center (PRC) to help provide women in our community an alternative to abortion. Last year, Act of Love was able to offer services to 11 women from the PRC. Six of those women chose to place their baby for adoption.
The staff at Act of Love is working to support the efforts of the Pregnancy Resource Center by helping to make their 2015 fundraising event, Banquet for Life 2015, “Hope Can Change Everything!” a successful event that allows the center to continue working to provide services and hope to many women and men.
The PRC’s Banquet for Life 2015 fundraiser is being held on October 2, 2015, at the Grand America Hotel, in Salt Lake City. Act of Love is looking for donations on behalf of the SLC Pregnancy Resource Center. Your donation of $150 will pay for a seat at the Act of Love sponsored table. If you would like to attend the event with AOL, we would love to have you join us. If you are unable to attend the event, but can offer a donation, another AOL friend can attend the fundraising event in your place. Donations are also being accepted for baskets to support the silent auction at the event.
Act of Love appreciates all you do to help support adoption as the positive alternative to abortion. We appreciate your consideration in supporting Act of Love and the work that we are able to accomplish together with the SLC Pregnancy Resource Center to continue building families and supporting women and men who choose adoption.
Many thanks for your very generous hearts and kind support! The dedication of our Act of Love friends and family to children and the opening of your hearts and hands is a testament to the truly wonderful and giving people you are. With Love – Your Act of Love Team
Help us make a “big impression” for the lives of children!
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IM us with donations or questions.
Personal One-on-One Care
For over twenty years, Act of Love Adoptions has been well-known for its personal one-on-one care it provides for its clients considering adoption. Act of Love helps birth parents who are seeking an adoptive family to find and a select a family that is able to help provide housing, food, medical care, transportation, counseling and meet pregnancy related needs. Women who are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy are able to speak with professional adoption staff that have years of adoption experience, as well as personal experience with adoption.
“No one has ever helped me the way that Act of Love has. No one has cared about me or shown me the love that I felt from every single person at Act of Love. When I needed a place to lay my head and someone to offer me a meal, no one would help me. Thank you Act of Love for the kindness and dignity you gave me as I did the hardest thing I have or will ever do! If you are in need of help, call Act of Love!”
To speak with a caring staff member : Text to 801-450-0094, Call 800-835-6360 or email to email@example.com. Birth parents need and deserve to have personal one-on-one care as they make the best decision for their child.
Adoption support is determined by your pregnancy needs and the laws in your state. Visit the Act of Love Adoptions website at www.aactofloveadoptions.com .
Birthmothers: Making Your Choices for Delivery Day
Once you have chosen adoption, one of the next steps you will take is to make a number of decisions with regards to the day of your delivery. This decision comprises some of the final choices you need to make, after you have selected the prospective parents of the baby and made plans to move forward with an adoption plan. It can be beneficial to plan how your delivery will go – there are a lot of unforeseeable things that can happen. You really do not know when you will go into labor.
However, if you have made some decisions beforehand, it can help make things go smoothly during the delivery day. Making the choices well in advance can also help you feel in control of the situation and that you can make the effort to have the kind of delivery you want. Having a birth plan also reminds you that the delivery is about you and the baby.
Here are some choices with regards to the delivery you can make in advance:
– The kind of delivery you want. Do you want to have a water birth, a hypno-birth or give birth with a doula helping you? Do you want to give birth in a hospital or in a birthing clinic? Are you open to an epidural or other pain medications? Are you open to an induction if the baby still has not arrived after the expected date of delivery? Even as you make these plans, remember that things can change and you are free to change your mind about your delivery choices. You also need to consider the advice of the medical professional who will help you during the delivery.
– The people present during the delivery. Do you have people who you want as your birth coaches or who will be present during the birth? These are people who can help you focus and provide some measure of encouragement and comfort during your delivery. These are people who will hold your hand and remind you to take deep breaths, as well as time your contractions. These are people you trust, people who you know will support you at this very physically and emotionally challenging time. You can choose who you want at the delivery. You can also invite the prospective parents to witness the delivery. And because this is an adoption, there may be social workers or adoption professionals from A Act of Love Adoptions who may be there for support. Of course, this is optional on your part.
– Who will cut the cord and hold the baby first. You can offer this momentous task to a family member or the prospective parents. With regards to holding the baby first, you may have your hesitations, especially if it is your first time to hold a newborn infant. You may also hesitate about holding the baby lest you get too attached with the baby and are scared about changing your mind about adoption and parenting. You may opt to have the hospital staff take care of the baby until he is placed with the waiting parents.
– How much time you want to spend with the baby. Do you want to breastfeed him and hold him? Do you want to have some time alone with the baby to be able to say hello & goodbye? One option is to room in with the baby. However, some birthmothers may find it less painful to let the baby go home with the waiting parents, so that they can start the bonding process right away. Generally, adoption counselors will advice you to spend some time with the baby, as part of the healing process you will be going through.
– Where you will be recovering after the birth. For some mothers who have relinquished the baby right after delivery, staying at the maternity floor can be difficult. They would much prefer to stay at a part of the hospital that is more generic and provides fewer reminders about childbirth. You can also request to have someone from A Act of Love to be with you at this time to provide support and advice.
I Am A Superhero
I experienced one of the most beautiful moments with my boys last night. We were saying our nighttime prayers, and my youngest, Matthias, said something that was so pure and precious. Praying to Heavenly Father, he said, “We thank thee that Mommy has super powers.” I really wanted to cry, but I refrained. My heart swelled with so much joy at the realization that they really do love me more than they can articulate. My boys love me so much, and I love them so, so much. They are my buddies. And apparently, I am their superhero.
Parents have a wonderful and priceless gift. Children are so amazing and bring so much joy to our lives. I sometimes get a glimpse of how my boys see me when they pray. When I listen to my boys pray, I find myself amazed at their purity and love for others. Hearing Matthias’s prayer last night, I have a better understanding of how they see me as their mother. They see me as a superhero.
They see me as someone who loves them unconditionally. They may not comprehend that now at their tender ages, but they will one day see that I have loved them unconditionally all of their lives. They know that I am their caretaker. They know that I will not let them go hungry or go to school with dirty clothes. They see me as this wonderful, loving mother in their lives whom does all that I can to ensure they are safe and live happy lives. To them, I am the best gift ever.
I know that this will not last forever. I know that this stage is very precious and will gradually dwindle, but I find it empowering to know that this is how my babies see me. They really look up to me, adore me, and love me, and I am grateful to know that this is how they see me now. I am grateful to be able to see this and enjoy this while I can.
Understanding Your Rights in an Adoption Plan
One thing that worries many women who are considering adoption is whether or not they’ll have time to change their minds about adoption. In short, yes, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to change your mind. In fact, you aren’t legally allowed to make the final decision until after the baby has been born. Most states have a window that provides birth mothers with that very option- the option to keep their child. Spending time with a counselor and processing this decision before involving an adoptive family is an important first step.
The Decision is Yours All The Way
This leads back to the main principle of adoption as a whole: as a birth parent, you have full rights over your child. Once you’ve actually signed the relinquishment forms that make the process “official”, then the answer becomes a little less clear. Each state has different laws that govern the amount of time, if any to change your mind after signing relinquishment documents. It is important to understand the laws governing your adoption, as you are making your adoption plan.
The Fact That You’ve Considered This Question Proves That You’re a Loving Mother
The very fact that you’re even asking this question proves that you are a mother who loves her child. So even if you do end up deciding to place your child with an adoptive family, you can sleep soundly at night knowing that they’re in good hands. Always remember that if it doesn’t “feel right”, that you can always choose adoption later on in your child’s life.
Act of Love Adoptions Can Help With Finding Your Answers
Even after the adoption happens, the relationship you develop with the adoptive family can allow for so many amazing things. You may choose regular visits and lots of interaction after your child has been placed. Talk with your counselor and the family you chose about your wishes for contact during and after the adoption.
To speak to Dee about an open adoption plan, contact Act of Love Adoptions at firstname.lastname@example.org . Act of Love offers a 24 hour/7days a week hot-line where you can speak with adoption professionals regarding an open adoption and other choices in your adoption planning. Call 1-800-835-6360 to speak with an adoption professional or text to 801-450-0094. Find the adoption agency that listens to your wishes in adoption planning and offers you the support you need.