A Act of Love Adoptions
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Pregnant? Text us at 801-450-0094

Outreach situation:

Birth mother from New Jersey working with licensed Utah agency will consider home study approved families from the Eastern Region of the United States to adopt her full African American baby BOY, born June 27, 2012. Birth mother is requesting an OPEN adoption, to include pictures, letters, phone calls and visitation 2-3 times per year.  Any interested families must have a current home study and current background screenings.  Please contact A Act of Love Adoption Agency at outreach@aactofloveadoptions.com.

Throwing Light on Adoption Myths

Are there misconceptions surrounding adoption?  Could misconceptions cause fear and hesitation for a birth parent or an adoptive family? A Act of Love Adoptions would like to help you take a look at some of the possible misconceptions and shed light on these erroneous beliefs.

Does placing a baby for adoption mean the birth parent does not love his or her child? Placing a baby for adoption can be one of the hardest things any parent can do. It is also an act of supreme love – It can mean putting the baby’s needs before your own.  Sacrificing your desires for the sake of your child’s is a concrete way of showing one’s love.  One can do this by choosing adoptive parents who have the means to provide for a child’s financial, emotional and psychological needs.

Can people think poorly of a birth parent who placeshis or her child for adoption? Is it true that there is a stigma placed on unplanned or unintended pregnancies and subsequent adoptions.  The saying goes, people who love and care for you will understand that the decision to “place” a baby for adoption is a courageous and selfless thing to do.  The definition of “placed” shows that a birth parent who makes the decision to “place”his or her child for adoption is making an educated and deliberate decision through love.   “Placed” is defined as “to direct to a desired spot”.  A Act of Love Adoptions provides the opportunity for birth parents to direct their adoption plan.

Is it possible that a birth parent could lose contact with his or her child after the adoption? In an open adoption with A Act of Love Adoptions, there is a plan for post adoption contact.  A Act of Love Adoptions and other adoption agencies will respect the decision a birth parent makes as to the level of contact they want after the placement.  Birth parents may ask for  regular updates and photos about the child or  “closer contact,” such as  phone calls, emails and visits. Adoptive parents are usually eager to fulfill the contact agreement so long as contact remains in the best interests of the child.

Will a child grow-up to resent his or her birth parents if they place the child for adoption? Through the education and counseling that is offered by A Act of Love Adoptions, adoptive families are given tools and information so that they are prepared to answer any questions the child may have.  As part of the adoption process, birth parents can also give information of their choice that adoptive parents may later share with the child.  Because of circumstances, birth parents may not be in a position to parent their child.  They decide to unselfishly place their child for adoption because they can not provide the kind of life that they want for their child.   The adoptive family, with the help of adoption professionals, can help the child to work through any questions they may have.

Is adoption costly?  While it is true that an adoptive family will need to show they have the means to raise a child, the more important requirement is how ready they are to nurture and care for a child. According to statistics, the costs involved in adoption are often just as much as giving birth.  Birth parent services at A Act of Love Adoptions may include:  medical, housing, living expenses and legal service.  These costs could be in addition to A Act of Love Adoptions base fees.  Adoption costs with A Act of Love Adoptions can vary depending on many different circumstances which may include housing, medical, living expenses and legal services. Resources to help subsidize adoption may include:  the Federal Adoption Tax Credit, grants, health insurance, military and corporate benefits.

Will adopted children feel loved and accepted? There are children that are born from the womb and children born of the heart.  Adoptive parents can have the capacity to love an adopted child as much as they would a biological child born to them.  A Act of Love Adoptions has many adoptive families that continue to correspond with the agency and their birth parents.  A Act of Love Adoptions has watched the success of adoption since 1993 and the happy adopted children and families as they grow-up.

 Are adopted children as emotionally adjusted as biological children?  According to surveys, adopted children are as adjusted and emotionally healthy as biological children. This is particularly true of infant adoptions.  Adoptive parents have the opportunity to research information about raising adopted children.  There is so much offered with adoption professionals and literature.  Some of the most successful people in our society are individuals who were  adopted.

Does the home have to be perfect?  Home studies are required to be conducted to approve adoptive families to adopt children.  Home studies are not about perfection, but about a loving, safe, financially stable, comfortable home for the child.    Home studies assess the home and whether the adoptive family is prepared to provide love and support that is needed for a child.

 

Supporting Adoptive Families During Transition

Aug 28, 2009 by Tricia Masenthin

Adopting a child represents a major life-changing event for a family. Learn how extended family members can help ease the transition.

Whether an adoptive family has spent months or years preparing their hearts and home for a child, reality doesn’t set in until the child actually arrives home. Some families feel overwhelmed by the changes as well as the added attention, which often includes a steady stream of well-wishers hoping to get a glimpse of the new arrival.

Give the Adoptive Family Time to Unwind From Travel

International and out-of-state adoptions often involve lengthy flights or car rides for parents and children. Jet lag and pure exhaustion can present challenges for families during their homecoming. Family and friends should consider this when making plans to celebrate the arrival of a new loved one.

Scheduling Celebrations With Adoptive Families

Most adoptive families appreciate and welcome fanfare – such as a meeting at the airport – upon their arrival. Some want to throw an elaborate party as soon as the family comes home. Ask the adoptive parents about their family’s wishes in advance. Tell them it’s OK to have a party a few weeks down the road if they prefer to rest up now and celebrate in style later Families Need Space and Time to Bond. Bonding is the process of establishing an emotional connection. Bonding and attachment – a unique bond that develops between a child and her primary caregivers – develop over time, and are key to a child’s development. In the book Thriving as An Adoptive Family [Tyndale, 2008; Sanford, David and Reneé, ed.], Dr. Debi Grebenik stresses the importance of parents giving their child the time needed to bond with them. Suggestions that loved ones can help implement include:

Minimize stress and chaos in the home.

  • Provide a calm and nurturing environment
  • Minimize the number of visitors.
  • While everyone’s excited, the parents need time to bond with their child.
  • Too many adults in the child’s life complicates the bonding process and can be confusing.
  • Keep the child home as much as possible to maintain a predictable and calm schedule.

Give the Adoptive Family Time to Establish a Routine

Predictably and stability help babies and kids adapt in a new atmosphere and feel safe. Loved ones can help foster an environment of consistency. Call ahead to schedule times to visit with the family. Avoid phone calls and visits during mealtimes and bedtime rituals. Offer to prepare a few make-ahead meals so the family will have some home-cooked food in the freezer for days when the parents feel too tired to cook.

Research Adoption

Take the time to understand adoption and help erase the stereotypes and misconceptions surrounding it. Magazines such as Adoptive Families and Adoption Today offer information on a variety of topics related to international, domestic and foster care adoption. Considering reading Adoption is a Family Affair: What Relatives and Friends Must Know [Perspectives Press, 2001] by Patricia Irwin Johnston. This book educates loved ones about the realities of the lifelong adoption process.

Loved ones can demonstrate their respect for the adoption triad (birth parents, adoptee and adoptive parents) by using positive adoption language. This updated way of discussing adoption replaces inaccurate, negative phrases such as “put up for adoption” and “given away” with more constructive terms such as “make an adoption plan.” Positive adoption language presents adoption as a “normal” way to form a family and not second best.Understand the Importance of Positive Adoption Language

Privacy in Adoption

Adoptive families deserve privacy. Some parents choose to keep details about their child’s adoption within the family to protect the adoptee’s privacy. Respect their wishes and only share the adoptee’s history with those who need to know. Some parents make plans early on to give the adoptee control over the release of genetic information and history at an appropriate age.

Recognize the Signs of Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome

Similar to Postpartum Depression, Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome affects adoptive parents. PADS can occur soon after adopting a child or even months later. According to a survey sponsored by the Eastern European Adoption Coalition, 65 percent of 145 parents who responded had experienced PADS. Symptoms of PADS range from general feelings of sadness to suicidal thoughts. If a loved one exhibits signs of PADS, offer support and encourage her to seek help from her physician.

Adoptive Families Need Support from Their Extended Family

While adoptive families need and crave approval from their friends and family, they also require breathing room in order to adjust to the myriad of changes occurring. Well-meaning loved ones can help the adoptive family during the transition by educating themselves about the process and offering their unconditional support.

Domestic Adoption Vs. International Adoption

The annual number of infants adopted domestically (excluding foster and relative adoption) is estimated to be around 18,000,  far greater than the annual number of international adoptions. The process of adopting a newborn in the U. S.  can go more swiftly than you may imagine. In a 2011 survey, the majority of Adoptive Families were matched with a birthmother in less than three months, and 40% were matched less than one month before their child was born.  This year alone, adoption agency A Act of Love Adoptions has placed a baby in as little as 3 days from the time the Adoptive Family applied and most are no more then 1 year.  The majority being less than 3 months.

In the majority of U.S. newborn adoptions, adoptive parents are selected by the birthparents of the child, and in at least half of the cases, the birthparents and adoptive parents meet.  Domestic adopters usually appreciate the opportunity to build a relationship with their child’s birth family. Ongoing contact is increasingly common, but can vary significantly in frequency.   A Act of Love Adoptions offers a variety of openness options.  Usually the birthparent chooses the type of openness best suited to their needs and then the staff at  A Act of Love Adoptions presents the situation to prospective adoptive families.

Adoption
is An Act of Love

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