This past year I recognized, first hand, the power of the choices I had in adoption. The decisions I made, as a woman unexpectedly pregnant, forever impacted my life and the lives of others.
I received a call saying there was a match with my Adoption Registry. After 23 years, from the time I placed my baby girl for adoption, this was a phone call that had been long awaited. I immediately thought about how I was living and the choices I was making. Would she understand that I had placed her with her adoptive family, out of love for her? The following months were filled with joy, fear, nervousness and hope.
When we saw each other for the first time, in over two decades, it was as if I was seeing a part of myself. We were so similar in many ways. There wasn’t a big emotional outburst or screams of excitement. It was quiet and content. We both had feelings of wanting to be accepted. I remember her saying, “I wanted my life to be perfect before I met my birthmother”. I was surprised to hear this. My biggest fear was not being good enough. I wanted to be a better person because of her.
Getting to know each other has been so beautiful. I was finally able to tell her adoptive parents thank you. Something I have wanted to do in person since the day she was born. They may not fully understand how their presence in my life has influenced me. Seeing her interact with her parents and sister, who is also adopted, confirmed that I had made the right choice. Families are built in so many ways. I have gained a family who was there for me when I needed support the most.
I was prepared to hear if she did not want to meet or know anything about me. It would have been disappointing but I knew it was solely her decision. Adoption comes with a lot of choices. Part of the miracle of adoption is having the power of choice. The choices I made were difficult but nonetheless a positive in my life. Adoption has made such a big impact on me. It has taught me compassion, strength, patience and acceptance. There has been no bigger lesson of love in my life than this. I look forward to the upcoming year and the miracles it may bring our growing relationship.
As a new year has arrived, we may tend to look back at what decisions we have made in the past years. I have been fortunate to look at this last year and recognize so many ways in which I have been blessed and shown that good things are happening around us. Even in moments of despair and doubt. My adoption is proof of that.